Is it July yet??

Organization and lining up ducks continues.

Here is my favorite purchase of the furniture I bought the other day.

This is exactly what I have been looking for.  Large,  bright, and doesn't stick out too far from the wall.

I will display some small rugs in the bottom.  And the drawers will be great for storing all kinds of things.

I am not done with it, but I think it is perfect.

Great place to display dish towels, which means I need to get cracking.

I have been ruthless, stacking up things I don't need, or want, to put on Craig's List.

After a morning of miscellaneous chores, L and I went to her barn, to put a warp on her loom.

Denim blue warp, for blue jeans.  Guess we know what her family and friends are getting for Christmas.


I am not very philosophical today.  I worked all day, then came home to take Roy for a long walk.
I am fading.
Looking forward to a nice dinner out for DH's birthday.

Sydney says:
Did you notice that I look thinner on this funky finish???

Ducks in a row.

I got to the studio early, intent on rearranging my life space.  Moving some of the new pieces of furniture in that I just bought from my friend.  Yes, I can hear you gasping.  What??? Bought furniture????   Is this the same woman who was just talking about downsizing her life, reaming out the clutter, simplifying things so her head didn't spin right off like a top???
Seriously?
Well, I bought the furniture in a moment of insanity, and I felt like I was channeling my late father during the whole buying experience.   In my defense, I am getting rid of stuff, to make room for the 'better', more appropriate, (I hope) stuff that I bought.
You believe that, right?

I haven't decided where this is going, but I like the distressed finish, and the cupboard doors on the bottom.

This old desk is one of my favorite pieces.  It is very heavy, solid.

Every now and then, the studio needs to be revamped a bit.  I usually find myself getting annoyed with it, and it gets more and more disheveled, until finally I cry uncle.

I guess that means that the studio is evolving, just like I am.  That's a good thing, right?

Love the finish on the top of this desk.  It's just too funky.

There are three more pieces, that I will take pictures of tomorrow.  Cleaning and rearranging is in progress.

I need to feel good about the studio, because on August 20th and August 21st,  I am taking part in "Summer Harvest in the Country", which is basically an open house.  I will have lots of rugs and stuff outside, and hopefully the shop will be full.

Now here's what I'm talking about.  Color, color, gorgeous color.

And here are my new placemats......woven by LOIS.    Gotta stop calling her "L".   She sounds too mysterious.
These placemats below are kind of like the 'Le Fringe' placemats on my web site, but since these don't have cut edges, they are 'machine washable'.
Aren't they wild??  I love them.

I think we  will be making lots of these.  They just have so much personality.

The incredible photos on the cupboard doors were taken by Kate over at Chronicles of a Country Girl

And I have to shout out my thanks to Halcyon Yarn
In their new catalog, page 5 belongs to Crazy as a Loom.
Yeehah!!!

This does NOT hurt a girl's ego, not one bit.  Can you blame me?

In the wind.

We have had Roy for two days, and other than the occasional looks he gives us, that seem to say,
"Am I going to stay HERE?  Or are you going to take me some place else?"  he has settled right in.
I have yet to hear him bark, even when kids and dogs and bicycles go right by on the sidewalk.  He has the sweetest, most companionable, even temperament I have ever seen in a dog.  He doesn't beg at the table, but lays down underneath, and waits for you to be done.  He doesn't bark or scratch at the door, he waits for you to let him in.  If you give him even a nod, he's on your lap.  His only fault is that he may lose his tail someday, from the furious wagging that goes on.

Walking him this morning,  a loose dog came charging out at him.  I yelled at the dog, and held my hand up, to discourage him from coming that last 10 ft, and Roy just stood by my side, and waited to see what would happen.  I have no doubt that he would defend himself.  But he is just not looking for trouble.
He is happy, inside.  You can feel it, when you are around him.

He has slept next to me the two nights he has been here, and he never moved.  And during the day, well, the couch will do.  He isn't particular.

The chair is nice, too, so you can keep track of the street.

And when you are sick of watching,  it's pretty comfy as well.

Do you ever get that funny feeling that something is shifting in your brain??  I know, I take my life in my hands saying that.  The loony wagon will pull up out front, right behind the Keebler truck, which DH says should come here for my mother.
Anyway, I am always in a rush.  I wake up at the crack of dawn, eat on the run, and I'm out the door to the studio, usually around 8am.  I work there all day, barely take a break for lunch, and come home at 4:30-5pm.   Then there's dinner, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, helping my mother with showers, etc, running to the drug store, the grocery store.  And I haven't even mentioned that mornings sometimes include trips to PT and doctors' appts.  My mother isn't having a good year, between her broken shoulder, diverticulitis, and bladder infection, and all her bad luck runs somewhat downhill into my lap.
I am not complaining, really.  It is what it is.  DH helps me all he can, I would have taken the bridge without him.
My point is, that suddenly, I realize how crazy and chaotic my life has become.  Too much.  The studio actually reflects this unrest in my brain.  It is cluttered, crowded, and lately......I hate to say it.......disconcerting.  I find it hard to settle on any one thing.  Because there is TOO MUCH going on.  Combine this with a list of orders waiting for me, some of them more complicated than others, yard work THERE that needs attention, a list longer than your arm of "things to do".......and I can almost hear my head spinning.
Today is my baby's 30th birthday.  I am taking today off to spend it with her.
What does that mean........that I have a BABY who is suddenly 30????   THIRTY????
Lord have mercy.
All these things slide in together......Eddie passing, the care of my mother taking more of my time, my baby leaving the shelter of her 20's.  All grown up, for real.
And I think there is another change in the wind.  I don't know yet what it is, and I am not trying to push it into the light.
I know, it will come in its own sweet time.
But it is there, I feel it hovering, like that hummingbird outside the window.  Hard to focus, but there all the same.

Sweet Boy Roy

Today I felt like a new mother, going to pick up my adopted child.
The excitement.  The anticipation.
And the fear.
Was this the right thing to do?
So soon?
Would another dog fit in our household?  Could we love him? Could we give him a happy life??
Would it feel right??

I had been perusing all the dogs available online at Petfinder.com and then finally, I decided to email Out of the Pits, the rescue in Albany.  I asked them about their dogs.  Told them we were looking for an older dog, one who was good with children, one who would be OK here during the day, keeping my mother company, and ready for walks when we got home.
We love pits.  They are the sweetest, most lovable dogs.

So we met the lady who runs this amazing agency, Out of the Pits, at Petsmart.  She brought 7 year old Roy, an "old style" pit bull, who looks just like my first pit bull, Chickiwu.

Good with kids, laid back, with a sweet temperament.  #1 granddaughter approves.

We walked him through Petsmart, and not once did he get excited, or upset, at all the other dogs.

It wasn't a hard decision.  He has been in foster care and then a kennel, for a year.

After a trip to the pet store for food and treats, we three were on our way home.

It wasn't long before he decided a nap was in order.  I hope that means that he was feeling safe already.

But if there was any doubt about whether the time was right, when we got home, that fear was put to rest.

 Someone to talk to, to think about, someone to love.

When we are gone during the day, she needs a little company.
And this guy is perfect.

I think I love this boy already.  He hasn't barked yet, not once, even when people with dogs walked by.
I took him for a long walk, and he walked like a prince, on a mission, no problems.

He immediately jumped up on Eddie's chair, where Eddie loved to lie and look out the window, nose on the window sill, smelling the fresh air.
He seemed to be saying, "Hey, this is really nice."

I think Roy has come home, and I think we have done the right thing.....for him, for us, for my mother.
Our house isn't empty tonight, all for the love of a dog.
I know my Eddie would approve.

Mystery solved

I know it's not a big thing, but that tree I asked you all about several weeks ago, the one I ordered, and planted, and then couldn't identify.

Well, finally, I did.  

It's a persimmon tree.

And I am so glad that I didn't get nervous cause it wasn't doing anything, and pull what looked like a lifeless twig, right out of the ground.

Truth is, they are late to leaf out in the spring.  And this little guy seems to be thriving.

It's been a tough week here.  We have been incredibly sad, and this house has echoed with the absence of our sweet boy.  

But as always, acceptance is the answer to all of our problems today, and this is no different.

There is a whole lot of stuff in this world to cry about, but then, there is a whole lot to smile about.

You only have to look around you.

Tomorrow we are meeting a dog from Out of the Pits, a rescue for pit bulls in Albany, NY.  We may foster him, or we may keep him, but we will see how it goes.

DH is not sure about it, but he is trying.

I only know that I can still grieve this loss, and love another dog at the same time.  I could never replace Eddie.  There will never be another just like him.  But another dog will be special in his/her own way.  As they all are.

Life goes on, folks.  It waits for no one.  I want to pack everything I can into this life I have.  The edge seems perilously close.

Tonight DH made macaroni salad, it is my favorite.

I would have stolen a spoonful, but he was getting ready to add the mayo, and he would have hollered at me.

He hates when I do that.

Maybe that's why I so love to do it.

So tonight, I am sitting here, thinking of all the dogs that I have loved.  And wondering how many more I have time for.

I'm going to fit in as many as time allows, you can bet on it.

This is the picture on my living room wall.  Eddie, in the background, and Chickiwu lying in front of him.  Chicki has been gone for a long time.  But if the universe is in order, then they are together today.

Chicki was always the boss back then, and I'll bet she is still the boss today.  It's only right.

Blechh.

I love hearing from all of you.  It is encouraging, and empowering somehow to know you are all out there reading my blog.  But sometimes, when I try to answer your questions, or just say thanks, I get  "no reply @ blogger, and I am unable to get back to you.
So.......here is how to change that, if you are so inclined.

If you would like people to be able to email you back after you leave a comment, here's how you change those settings.

1. Click on the Customize link in the upper right hand corner of your screen.
2. Click on the Dashboard link in the upper right hand corner of your screen.
3. Click on Edit Profile, which is on the left hand side of the screen next to your picture.

4. This will take you to the Edit User Profile screen.
5. Look in the Privacy section.
6. Check the box that says, "Show my email address".

7. In the Identity section, enter in an email address.
8. Scroll down to the bottom of the screen and click on Save Profile.

When you add your e-mail address in the above spot, it does not change the e-mail address that you use to log-in. I'm assuming that most of you have a personal e-mail address and generic blog e-mail address. I entered my generic blog e-mail address in that spot. My personal e-mail address is still where I recieve notifications of new comments and it is what I use to log in to blogger.


And to answer the question about my hair....no I do not use a product called Dye Be Gone.....I was just being a smart ass, you know.....dye.....be ......gone!!!


Today I tried to get my 86 year old mother interested in going to the Senior Center, for maybe a Bingo game, or some other event.  She needs a little companionship during the day, she is feeling especially lonely without Eddie here with her.  I am at the studio all day, and DH is in and out, so she spends a lot of time alone.
She made a face at my suggestion, and said, " I'm not about to spend time with a bunch of old people."
I am speechless at that.
WTH????  Are ya' kidding me???


The day went from rainy and dismal, to almost laughable, things were going so bad.


I kept waiting for the bluebird of happiness to land on my shoulder.
But it didn't look good.

But sometimes, let's face it, life ain't no bed of roses.


And if you think it is, there is sure to be a thorn or two to remind you of your foolishness.

After a totally failed attempt to do something fun with my grandkids, the weather was not cooperating, I went to the studio for a couple of hours.  I putzed around, doing a little accounting, a little sewing.  I sewed for quite a while before I realized that there was no thread in the bobbin.  Did this ever happen to you???


Then I had some rugs returned, and was a bit shocked that one of them was WET.


I picked up a tube of lotion, thinking that I might like to put some on my hands, and the tube exploded in my hand, with coconut soupy liquid everywhere.
Just about then, I decided to give it up, cautioning myself to drive well on the way home.  My luck was not looking good.


One highlight.  L vacuumed the entire studio while I was away, and it looks terrific.  I'm gonna stop saying good things about her though, in case someone reads them and decides to steal her from Crazy as a Loom.

Sydney says:

Tomorrow is another day.

Still raining

Still amusing myself here.  In between orders, waiting on samples to be okayed, waiting for a deposit on another order, waiting for color swatches on yet another.

And it's OK.

Some times you just have to do what's in front of you.  Some times, that's all you can do.

These are my "new" purple, yellow and lime rugs.

Let me introduce you to Jinx.  She doesn't get much press.  Mostly because she hardly ever stays still.

When she does, I grab the camera.

She is very long, including her tail.

She was one of five kittens that a stray had, under the house where I live, not the studio.   I captured four of the kittens, the mother and one kitten got away.

The only time Jinx lets you pet her, and love her, is when she is lying down.  Then if you approach her slowly, she will totally enjoy the attention.

But if you move too quickly, or try to pick her up, she's gone.

Sydney, on the other hand, is not deterred by much of anything.

And some people are dangerous with the camera.

Here you can see how silvery my hair is in the front.

Dye be gone.

A kind of quiet day at the studio, pouring rain outside, and not much going on.

But that is fine with me right now.   

I'll get my groove back soon, but I am taking a cue from these four cat creatures.

Jinx who runs, Kizzy who hides, Sydney who persists, and Miss Puss, who just plain gets comfortable.

There is a lesson to be learned from each of them

I'm trying to sort  them out.

The lessons.

The rain can stay.

It has rained all day, and is still raining.  It is somehow very soothing to me.
DH made spagetti today, and we are both struggling with it.  Not that we don't love it, and not that he doesn't make the best sauce around, but Eddie loved his spagetti so much, that we jokingly called him
'Spagetti Eddie'.  He sucked the strands of spagetti up, like a little kid.

As I stumble around, trying to be productive in some fashion, I find that this loss, of a dear friend, makes life suddenly seem all the more precious.
Have you ever noticed how that works?
When death comes a knocking at the door, no matter who it comes for, it snaps you into some heightened awareness of what was all around you anyway???  Things you took for granted.

A warm, comfy place to sleep.

That hot cuppa tea, that thick bagel, the sound of the chimes out on the porch, the way that rain wraps around everything.  Today I noticed it all, the sound of the loom, the color of the fabric, the feeling of safety and comfort, it wasn't just routine.   Everything was amplified, exaggerated, intense.

One of the things I did today, was prepare fabric for a rug.
Sometimes, when I have a container of scrappy material, hodge podge, it is easier to roll the fabric up, two colors to each roll, cut thin.  Otherwise,  I would be jumping up every time the shuttle was empty, looking for the next color.

I allowed myself to do everything at a slower pace.  No hurry.  No pressure.
I can't take either right now.

I enjoyed weaving this runner, 28"x84", not for any reason, but just because I wanted to keep going, and use up all the fabric I had rolled up.

These are two that L wove, and left on the loom because (she says) I TOLD her to do something else.
Actually, that might just be quite true.
But aren't they nice?
Forest floor, in the Walking on Sunshine style.

You know I love to weave, right?  Rag rug weaving fits me so well, I am sometimes not sure if I am in awe, or scared to death.
Weaving makes sense to me.  It is orderly and predictable, when life is not.  It is color and texture that makes my heart sing just about every time I sit down to throw the shuttle.
And right now, I am homing in to what I love with a neediness I don't usually have.
But that's ok.
Cause I'm being nicer to myself today.

I love the comment that this grief is the price for all the love Eddie gave......well, then.....I guess I'll just have to pay up then, won't I?